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Safe With Me, Part 8 (The End)
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Safe With Me, Part 8 (The End)
Title Page
Part 8 will be available for individual purchase,
Epilogue
Safe With Me, Part 8 (The End)
Copyright 2011 Shaina Richmond
http://www.shainarichmond.com
[email protected]
Published by Hartley Independent, a division of
Gossamer Publishing, LLC
http://www.gossamerpublishing.com
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.
Part 8 will be available for individual purchase,
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The beginning of Safe With Me is available for free at most major retailers.
Tyler
Monday, January 10, 2011
8:58 AM
It was the first class of our last semester. Where the hell was she? I knew we had the same schedule. I tried to be coy as I looked over my shoulder at the door every ten seconds. A couple of the guys around me were talking about basketball and I could’ve joined the conversation but I was too anxious to do more than nod along.
Dr. Schultze, my faculty advisor, was teaching this class. I was a little distraught to see him come through the door right before the start of class, and Susie still hadn’t shown up. His lecture began exactly two minutes later. That’s when she slipped quietly inside the door and took one of the only open seats in the small classroom, way back in the corner, several rows away from me.
I tried for about five seconds to get her to look over at me, but she was stubborn. As the class went on I tried a few more times. Her eyes went from her notebook to the teacher and nowhere else. I couldn’t concentrate on the lecture when she was sitting right there in the same room, ignoring me. I knew she’d pull some kind of shit like this.
When it sounded like Dr. Schultze was about to end the lecture, I put my coat over my arm and picked up my notebook and pen — the only things I brought with me that day — and said 'See ya later' to Corbie, who sat beside me. I thought I saw her glance over, probably plotting her escape. Maybe she was waiting for me to leave first.
Susie bolted for the door closest to her as soon as Michael stood up. It looked like she was trying to hide behind another girl.
The guys lingered, talking and joking. I walked outside the room and immediately saw the back of her blond head bobbing in the small crowd of students on their way to the big staircase leading downstairs to the exit.
She was fast, but I was faster. My pulse soared as I slid my arms inside my coat while politely shoving my way through the crowd. I caught up with her just as she reached the exit, wedging myself between her and the double glass doors.
She flinched when she saw me. Then she looked at the people walking around me who were probably annoyed at the sudden roadblock as they tried to go outside.
“Come on,” I said, panting. “Please talk to me.”
She spoke with a whine. “Don’t do this.”
Her face was paler than usual, and her eyes looked weak. Had she been upset all weekend, too? Did she get as little sleep last night as I did?
I tried to keep my voice just loud enough to hear over the bustle of people changing classes. “Susie, please, can we just talk? You going to the Cellar?”
She focused on something outside and said in a flat tone, “It doesn’t matter where I’m going. You’re in my way.”
“I just wanna talk.”
I felt a hand smack my arm. It was Michael.
He stood beside me, smiling down at Susie. “Come on. Give the man a break.”
She wouldn’t look at him. She bit her cheek and looked around the corridor with her hands stuffed in pockets. I could see her fingers fidgeting through the suede material.
Right then I felt a stranger’s backpack nudged me from behind, harder than the angry ones who were already trying to push me out of their way.
Michael loudly whispered near my ear, “Remember what I said. Ignore her. She'll come runnin' back. Trust me.” He gave my shoulder one more slap and went outside where I saw Corbie and Dan waiting.
I put my hand around her upper arm and gently guided her backward toward the wall to clear the exit.
She immediately shrugged away from me. “Stop.” Then she scowled, her eyes narrowing at someone walking behind me.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kate Burnette chatting with some other girl, likely slowing her pace to shoot a curious sneer our way as she passed by. Susie’s eyes softened toward me. I didn’t care if she was only being nice to show up Kate and make it look as if nothing were wrong. Nope. I didn’t care one bit. Whatever it took to make her listen was fine with me.
I seized the opportunity immediately. For days, I’d mentally prepared a speech but I forgot it the instant her sad eyes met mine.
“Please don’t push me away,” I said. “I can tell you’re as upset as I am. We don’t need to hurt like this. Let’s go back to the way things were. It’ll be easy.”
She closed her eyes. “Tyler…”
No, please open those eyes and look at me… I inched forward. “We have two hours till our next class. Let’s go somewhere else and talk. We gotta get past this. Everyone’s telling me to leave you alone and let you come running back but I can’t do that. We were right on the verge of something, Susie. We both know that. You were excited about seeing me when you opened that door on Friday. Ten minutes later you kicked me out and broke up with me. Don't throw us away. Let's fix it."
Her head shook. “There’s nothing to fix. Don’t you get it? I finally woke up. I snapped out of our little three month fantasy.”
“It wasn’t a fantasy.”
“A delusion, then?”
“No. You know we have something special. I’ve never felt like this before. It goes way beyond some little fling or a college romance. I didn’t even want a girlfriend and then you came along and gave me the best three months of my entire life. That kind of thing doesn’t happen by accident.”
She raised one eyebrow. "You really think we were destined to find each other? We both just happen to wander into the same coffee shop on the same day and meet the person of our dreams and then start this torrid, whirlwind relationship that ends with us living happily ever after? You really think that's what happened?"
"Yes. I think that’s exactly what happened."
She gave me an exasperated look. "Oh my God. I’m the female here. I’m the one who’s supposed to believe in fairy tales. Here, let me break this down for you in a very practical way." She cleared her throat. "What’s gonna happen the first time one of your gossipy aunts brings up a rumor about me? Because that'll happen eventually."
"I guess I’d have to remind ‘em of all the skeletons they have in their own closets. Trust me, there’s a lot."
"What about kids, then? What happens if someday we have kids and they hear rumors or see something online. Their friend asks, 'Hey, isn’t that your mom?' What about that?"
I shrugged. "We dea
l with it, that’s what. Besides, I don’t even know if I want kids."
She rolled her eyes. "You want kids."
"I’m not so sure I do." I could've gone on for a while about what it was like to try to take care of my family for years and how it exhausted me, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let her change the subject. "I got you all figured out. The real reason you do porn is because you need a convenient way to get rid of someone. You’ve rehearsed your little ‘what if we have kids’ argument for years. It’s your ace in the hole. You get close to someone, you can just say, 'hey go to this website. Go to the porn shop out on route twelve. Go online and search for this name.' And then it’s all ruined, or at least, it should be, right? And you have this airtight excuse to keep yourself all alone the rest of your life."
She was silent; her face, emotionless.
I continued, now remembering the speech I'd rehearsed. "I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You know it’s different with me. I’m not some crazy stalker. You showed me rooms you never show people. You told me things you never tell people. You were all set to tell me everything on Friday until you found some reason to put your guard up. I think you were just looking for a reason. Just waiting for me to say the wrong thing—”
Her eyes lit up like I'd finally hit the right nerve. "It’s time to cut your losses, Tyler. Move on and be happy we had three good months together. Enjoy being in college. That’s why you came to this school, right? To have a good time? Go find yourself a nice, normal girl. If you believe everything you just said, then you should be glad we’re over because I’m obviously pretty screwed up."
"Oh, you’re too crazy to get involved with? You have a scandalous hobby and you’re crazy. And that means I should give up?" I grinned. "Stop making excuses. You feel guilty any time something makes you happy. You think you don't deserve it. I know what that’s like, letting yourself wallow in misery for years because you feel like a failure—”
“I’ve had enough of this.” Her eyes set straight ahead, she shoved past me, stopping just as she was about to push the door open to go outside. “Wait… I was gonna call you about something today.” She backed away from the door and turned to me with an air of dread. “You gotta lay off Caleb. He didn’t do anything but,” she looked over her shoulder and lowered her voice, “keep my secret. He tried to get me to talk to you weeks ago. Don’t take this out on him.”
“You know where he is?"
“Apparently, you sent him a text message which he perceived in a threatening manner?” Her eyebrows shot up. “I don’t know what it said. Just be nice to him when he comes back to your house, okay? You may not know it, but he’s probably one of the best friends you’ve ever had in your life.”
“Did he sleep at your house last night?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Did he sleep with you at your house last night?”
“What?” Her jaw dropped. “I knew you’d think differently about me now. You know, I’m not some sex fiend who sleeps with every guy who offers.” She pushed her way outside.
I immediately followed. It was cold enough outside for me to see my breath. She walked much faster than usual but my legs were long enough to let me easily catch up. “I didn't mean it that way. I’ve always hated the thought of you with someone else. I don’t want some guy sleeping under your roof with you there alone.”
“Well, we broke up, so you’re gonna have to get over that.”
“No, we just need to get back together. Then I don’t have to get over anything.”
“Please, just be nice to Caleb, okay? That’s all I ask.”
“Get back together with me and I’ll be nice to him.”
She let out a cold laugh as her pace quickened. “Do you know how immature you sound?”
She was probably right. I was in uncharted waters because the girl I loved broke up with me. I felt like a drowning man, arms and legs flailing, desperate to save myself...unable to stop the ridiculous words from falling straight out of my mouth.
I stared her way as I walked, hoping she'd look at me. “Susie, this break up doesn’t make a damn bit of sense and you know it.”
“Sometimes life doesn't make sense." She stared thoughtfully at a group of girls who were talking and laughing, walking toward us on their way somewhere. "Just find someone else. Move on."
"No. Do you wanna see me with someone else?"
"I didn’t say that. I just think you need to have some fun, and graduation’s only four months away. Live it up while you can. Don't let me ruin it."
Why’d she have to remind me? Four months didn’t give me much time to wear her down again, but I’d figure out a way. “What are you doing after graduation?”
She sighed. “Probably gonna leave town."
"You’re not moving to Vancouver, are you?"
She stopped walking and slowly turned to glare at me. “No.”
We were outside the entrance of the Cellar. With the exception of a few smokers, we were alone. The cold had already started to chill me to the bone now that I’d stopped moving, but I couldn’t get myself to go inside. I didn’t care where she was going, I just wanted to be with her. “So, tell me where you're going after graduation," I said.
She shook her head, shivering. “Doesn’t matter. Look, it’s cold and I gotta go.”
“Let me give you a ride. I’m parked in the garage.”
“No.”
“Were you serious about wanting me to go out with other people?”
She slightly flinched. “Look, I know why you left home and came out here to school and…" Her voice got almost too quiet to hear. "You deserve to be happy, even if it's with someone else."
Was I an asshole because I didn’t want the same for her? If she wasn’t with me, I wanted her to have the shittiest fucking semester possible. "I only want you. And I don't want you with anyone but me.”
“I have to go.”
“What about all those hours you owe me?”
“I don’t owe you any hours.”
“Yes you do. You’re up to sixty—”
“No." She looked deep into my eyes. “No, Tyler. I’m not playing along anymore.”
Pain immediately ripped through my body. She may as well have stabbed me in the chest.
I tried my best to hold it together, simultaneously planning my next move. “Fine. I’m still here if you need me.”
“Look, I know this sucks.” Her voice finally showed a hint of genuine sadness. She took a small step forward. “And you were right. We did have something really special. I’ll let you be right about that.”
“Tell me you love me, Susie. Let me be right about that, too.”
“It's over now. Doesn't matter."
“I just wanna hear it. I thought I was finally gonna hear it on Friday.” I swallowed. “But we both know how that went.”
She sighed. “It’s cold out here. I gotta go.”
“Come on. It won’t even take a second. Call it a consolation prize. Just tell me you love me.”
She stared down at the sidewalk. “Why should I? You already know I do.”
I was too stunned to respond. I just watched her turn away and walk down the street, wishing the temperature would drop fast enough to freeze me to death.
Susie
Monday, January 10, 2011
2:05 PM
Aunt Lydia used her super-annoying whiny voice. “I’m just so disappointed. You were finally doing something good for yourself.”
Why the hell did I answer my phone? “No, it moved too fast. It wasn’t good for either of us. We got carried away.”
It sounded like she was clicking.
“Oh, I just love to look at these pictures. You both look so happy.” More clicking. “Aw, it looks like you’re part of a family here!”
“What? Are you looking at the Thanksgiving pictures?”
“His sister’s a doll. She’s so young.” She paused. “He has so many relatives.”
“How are
you seeing these? I hid my profile again after Tyler’s mom tagged me.”
Her light-hearted response was, “She sent me a friend request. You’d know that if you ever logged in.”
“You know, I wonder what meddling Aunts living in third world countries did with themselves before Facebook. Why are you spying on me? Aren’t there kids who need your attention right now?” I had only myself to blame. I was the one who donated all that money to revamp the clinic. Unfortunately, it included an Internet upgrade, which meant Aunt Lydia could now use Skype and Facebook at the same time without interruption. And that was unfortunate.